New Years Resolution.

And you can quote me.

This new year I really want to follow through on what I want to change about myself and lifestyle.
I feel like this new year I can really accomplish EVERYTHING i say I want to, and i'm going to take full advantage with that.
So here goes.

1. Loose weight and keep it that way.
I want to at least be at 110, 13lb. drop.
If I'm lucky I'll work on the 100 N One.
I wanna eat healthier and cut out alot of carbs and pork. I know I'm never going to be vegitarian or vegan cause that's not my style, but I'm going to cut out alot of meat that I eat. Mainly Fish and Chicken is what i'll be consuming. I want to work out more, @ least and hour a day.

2. Figure out what it is I want to do with my life.
Start looking into careers in depth that have to do with fashion and music more.
Looking @ schools I want to possibly attend and what i'll need to do to get there.

3. GET A DAMN JOB.

4. Get completely clean.
I know I have been since i've been w/ nick, but I still have alot of work to undergo.
I just want to be able to be around it and be able to resist like it's nothing.

5. Get deeper involved more in my religion.
Stay to pray more, and less sin.

6. READ MORE BOOKS.

7. GET CLOSER TO NICK.

MOM = lurk!

This woman put like some shit on here where u can read everything i write, like wtf, ew that's gross!
i can't wait til i get the new charger to my computer hah, i hate living here i have absolutly NO privacy.

No room.
No phone.
No NOTHING.
I'm almost 18 years old.
If this continues, idk what i'm going to do.

-___________________________-

Monday

Movie Night w/ papichullllloo.
Love this fool I sware.
Yet another day I got closer to my babe.
All is well, I really can't complain.

12.25.09

Yippi-Cky-Yay.
My oh my christmas day was swell. Chilled w/ the fam, pretty bored but all was well.
My baby came over and we chilled at the pad for an hour then mark me us up on the orange line to goto the movies. The boys were really hungary so we where trying to find places to eat that where open, Maggianos= closed, P F Changs= closed, so we ended up going to T.G.I Fridays. Mark ended up eating my food lol. The we mobbed back to the amc and watched Up In The Air, it ended up being a really good movie. Mark left the theater early for BP w/ his Flip cousins. Which ended up giving me and Nicholas a really good chance to bond, and get closer to eachother. All in all, the best christmas i've ever had. Yeh, it's official... finally <3

A week before, AMC w/ Mark & Nicholas.

Fefe Dobson

Comeback Season or what? It's about time! This hoe is my idol, I love her.

ho ho ho!

Happy Holidays <3

This is what you do to me.

Can't you see, i'm dying inside? What do I do? I'm too afraid to let go.
Please, stop.

2009 Survey.

In 2009...

Have you had a girlfriend or boyfriend?
YES.

Have you had your birthday?
YES, It sucked.

Been to church?
YUP.

Cried yet?
OH YEAH.

Had someone close to you pass away?
Too Many

Pulled an all nighter?
So Many.

Drank starbucks?
For a while, almost everyday.

Gone shopping?
Oh yeah.

Gone to the movies?
Mmhum,

Been to the beach?
My home <3

Bought something for over 100 dollars?
Yep.

Met someone new?
Been out of your home state?
Gone snowboarding/sking?
In The Past Month...

Kissed someone?
Plenty.

Slept in a friend's bed?
Yahh.

Snuck someone over?
;)

Snuck out of your own house?
Kinda.

Been in a bar?
Yee.

Lied?
Mmhum.

Gotten a car?
kinda.

Gone over your cell phone minutes?
-____-
Been called a whore?
What's New? haha

Drove somewhere?
Mmhum.

Done something you regret?
-_____-

Gotten caught...?
For lot's of things.

Last...

Thing you bought?
Uhhhhh, Chocolate Malted Crunch Ice Cream from Rite Aid.

Person to call you?
Nicholas.

Last time you took a bubble bath?
Damn it's been a while since I had one of dem.

When was the last time you felt stupid?
Everyday haha.

When was the last time you walked/ran over a mile?
Ohhhhh -__-

Who was the last person who saw you cry?
No one.

Who was the last person who made you cry?
Shameen.

Who was the last person you watched a movie with?
Nicholas.

Who was the last person you danced with?
Floaty Crew.

Who did u last yell at?
Jaz?

Who last told you they loved you?
My nicholas <3




This 2009 Survey Sucks.
I need to find a new one!

Slowly Drifting.

No matter how hard you try, sometimes you just can't get it back.
It kinda sucks, but I mean maybe things will change in the new year.
And if not, then it's supposed to happen for a reason.

Nick

Is sick. He got dat Kyle Pak -______-

Party in the back of a Tattoo Shop?

Say WHAT? Yes, Friday night was indeed fun. After school, chilled with Mark, Dom, Nick<3, and T at Starbucks for a bit. Alfred Met us up then we departed. Headed to Alfreds with T and I concocted my marvelous Adios mix which now goes by the name of MoJo :) Went to tiahnas house, got ready. Then plans changed so we watched a coupe of movies picked up Dib then headed to Van Nuys for this underground Rave. Met some really sweet people. I was a lil drunk off the Adios but fortunatley that's all I did that night :) Danced the whole time we were there. Good Time.

Almost better than $EX!

... i just came :D

The General...

I'm sorry for all the wrong i've done, and all the pain i've caused. you know my intentions if no one else does. you've always excepted me for who i was and what you know i could become when everyone else doubted me, when everyone else doubted you for having so much faith in me. i constantly let you down, and you constantly lifted me up. i know i don't deserve to have you as a friend, but i can't go on without you. you've been there for me through my roughest times. you've seen me at my lowest. i need you to be there with me, in my life. you know this. you know you want to. we're both such stubborn individuals but you don't have to deny it. Your my true best friend forever. No matter what we've been through. You'll always be my number one, even if you don't believe it.

'' Up to my room, for cigarettes and cartoons ''

I love you Momo!

Chicks to Dicks.

Damn Baby, you switched your swagger up!

You Showt.

So I decided to cut my hair. i'm really happy with the out come :) Looky!

___Before,

___And,

___After.

Another Night Out,

More reason for me to fall deeper in love. Whirl-wind, no turning back now. I'm in it to win it. Win his heart, and keep that title.
How did this come to be? Why did I have to wait for so long? I'm glad it's happening.

Kiss In The Rain...

I've never done that 'til tonight <3.
I love you babe.

Dear Mama,

I know your a lurk and you'll most likely read this one day.. or not. But I just need to get some things off my chest. First let me say that I do love you. I never meant to disappoint you nor upset you. All I ever wanted was for you to be proud of me. When I was younger living with my grandma I would always speak so well of you, and she never understood why. She was always the one buying me the nicest clothes and feeding me well. Making sure I had the newest toys and what not, even if she did some shady things just so I could have it, she made sure I had the best with a quickness. You on the other hand could barely call me. As a kid I never understood what I did wrong, why you didn't really want me in your life. Was it because of my grandma? My dad? I could never really open up to you, never tell you how I really felt, I feel like we have ever vibed on that level. When I woke up to my grandma dead in the room across from mine and I called you I remember the sound of your voice, you didn't really care. And when they played the video of her and I at the funeral the only thing you could say was ''is that my ring?''. Really now? I'm not going to sit here and put on this front like i'm so amazing and i've never done anything wrong or against your will, but come on now i've never done anything so wrong for you to say that your happy that my grandmother died! REALLY? I lost all respect for you after that day,, I can never let that go. That hit me so hard, do you have any idea how much i loved that woman, she raised me, gave me everything she had, something you would never know anything about. Oh wait, you do. Jazmine. See mom, I love her too and Vel, but I honestly feel like the outcast of the ''family'' or should I say household. You may not see it because she's your ''little sweet angel'' but she is a complete biatch to me. At times the way she treats me and my personal belongings makes me want to cry. Why is she so mean to me, all I ever do to your daughter is try to be nice to her and be a good big sister, but thats never enough. Never enough for the both of you. You treat me as if i'm a roommate. I mean I know me living here is a hassle for you and the space isn't much to work with but you could accommodate me more. Jaz is always complaining about me using her closet for my clothes and you let her. Why? I have nothing but what i came here with, I had to leave so much stuff and it's like why should I have to leave everything in the garage? It's unfair. And you wonder why I want to get out of your house so badly. You just don't understand what I go through living here. The vibes I get form you all at times just drives me crazy. Why do you think I always like to be out? Because I want to be around people that actually care. I guess i've said what I had to say. Hope this doesn't offend you in anyway. But, it's just how I feel. I'm out.

Random

sick day -________-
Woke up @ 4 this morning to incredibly uncomfortable abdomen pains. Shortly after that I yaked. Went back to sleep and right before I took a shower after I yaked once more. What that all about? I never throw up. And so I was like maybe i'll be better i'll just goto school... bad idea. I had a massive case of fatigue and erratic body aches. So 5th period I went home. Tried to make some hot tea, almost passed out while in the making so I just dozed off. Woke up a few hours ago, finally drunk my tea and ate a few grapes. I'm feeling a little better, I just wonder what was wrong with me. My body never acted like this before. I wonder why?

Just A Thought.

Things have been going very well lately. I honestly cannot complain. I haven't been this content with life in.. well.. ever. I've been so happy, and enthusiastic to do things. Like I just got a phat whiff of happiness. Things are really starting to go my way. Really excited for new years, I can just feel it, so much is in store for me. My turning point.

Kiana Hernandez.

The best part of my mothers side of the family (other than her mother). I love my older cousin so mucho grande. She is beautiful, talented, and extremely intelligent. She's one person I can definitely has brain, beauty, and a booty :) Just wanted to pay a lil tribute for the one girl I know that will be in my life forever and won't bother me :)
I love you Ki<3

Then..


And Now...






<3loveyou.

wtf?

seriously..

made my day...

someone told me that i was prettier than Chanel Iman!
I know that's not true, but it was forsure a confidence boost :)
got an amazing letter from my boo.
had a good talk with mark and julia on the floor in the boutique :)
life is good, all for the better!

Aye doe!

I'm back in redondo @ my great- grandmothers pad. Just got off the phone w/ Nickolas :) And i'm just sitting here bored now. Life is going pretty well, minus the fact that i'm ''grounded''. That'll be over in like a few days once i butter up that mother of mine. Things w/ the group is going well, and there are finally no boy problems :) I don't think i'll have to worry about that anymore. I'm just really looking forward to the christmas party @ Gabey$ pad, and then new years. Super Stoked. So I gave my baby Hubert Cumberdale to Mark. Every since there's been a Nick and I, there's no more Hubert and me =/. I can't complain, you've gotta let some things go when your in love. Anywho, i'm really bored, sitting here in this snuggie. I don't know why people hate these things they are so cozy. I could be butt booty nakket in it and be warm as shit :)

Updates?

I think so. Found a guy that's really nice, and make me happy. Things are moving kinda slow, but I think that's what I need right about now. I'm more content with life right now then I have in a while. I am finally happy with living in the valley. I have a group of amazing friends that mean so much to me. I know what I want to do with my life, I feel like as if I have finally found my niche. I miss my friends though. I got a call from Jeremy and jerry the other day and like so much has been going down, I miss my boys a bunch. But I'm chill with where I am right now. I am changing my diet, no more fatty's and starch's and what not. I need to re-dye my hair it's annoying me. Wow I'm rambling. Anyways my group is having a christmas party at Gabe's house :) and we are having secret Santa's! How awesome will that be. Winterfresh is coming up! I'm so excited for this month. But i've never been so excited for christmas as much as i am this year <3 I can't wait.

Part 2.

So I talked to him. As a matter a fact, I'm talking to him as I am writing this. God :D Is all i can say @ the moment. There's been a lot going on lately. Lots of recurring old news that is really boggling my mind at the moment. Well there's always the boy that always seems to put a smile on my face. He is too much. In a good way, lol. There's the Addiction that pops up from here and there. Trying to handle that. I'm realizing why I feel like I need that so much. Over analyzing my situation with the Addiction won't help. Mind over Matter. Back to what I was saying in the beginning though. So I'm talking to him right now. And my god you have no idea how happy I am feeling right now. It's crazy how you can feel a certain way for weeks about someone and you not even know that they are feeling the same way. You want to tell them but you think that it will cause trouble when in reality that's not even the case. Well that's what happened. I feel like I have a chance now. I know if i do get another chance that I will for sure NOT blow it. There's no way I'm going to let him slip through my fingers again. No fucking way. I really hope things go my way this time, because if they do all my dreams and wishes would finally be true.

For better, Or for worse?

No More Greener Grass.

Hit My Lowest Low.
It's Been A While.
Didn't Think It Was Possible.
Misery.
LOVES.
Company.

Just realized

I lost the love of my life... It;s not what you think. Nothing you would have expected. I know, i know. This doesn't make any sense. But it's how I feel. I can't believe he is really gone. I hope not forever. I know he is happy. I guess I have to move on FOR REALS now. I kept ruining all my time with him. Now he's happy.. without me. I never thought this day would come. I am so lost. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost, and confused and hurt, and alone. I hate everything right now. I keep trying to make the best out of the situation, but all I want to do is cry. Cry cry cry, forever until i have him back. Until I can call him mine again. No one can ever take his place. No one can ever compare to him and his love. I know I've put people before him in the past, and I've done some fucked up shit to him, just like he's done to me. But we would always over come the bullshit. And now, I don't know if we will have another chance to be with each other. We've been by each others sides through our hardest times. And he's grown to become such a wonderful man, i just wish he could realize how much i love him, and how proud of him I am. God, words can't even explain the pain i feel inside because i know i probably will never have another chance with him. I'm sorry.

i love you. never have i ever meant those words so truthfully then to you.
MC<3

HALLOWEEN 2009!!!!!

WAS AMAZING.

So let's take it from the top. Tiahna and I went to Redondo to kickit with Dom, Dima, Stoia, Chase, and Jon before Monster Massive. Oh! and Brandon came as well. After we hung out there we went to pick up my rave son Chachee. On our way to Monster my brother Myko gives me a jingle and slimed a ride with us there. We got there and were waiting for my friend Jonah for about an hour and a half. He was selling me a fake ticket, but it was a reliable ticket. Unfortunatly things didn't end up going as smoothly as we thought they would. The tickets didn't work. I ended up lost for about 5 minutes because Jonah and melissa boned out. So as I was trying to get in the guy that worked at the Venue took my ticket and told this nasty black lady to escort me out. I was freaked out because I was alone and i didnt have a phone and all my friends got in I didnt know anyones number. So Tiahna was like run through the gate from afar, and i heard and i was walking with the crazy black bitch out of the venue and fucking I tried to pull some fakie football shit on her but theres no stoppin a nigga and she caught me. -___- She grabbed me so hard, it hurt so bad, I have such a fragile body and like i got bruises from her grabbing my waist. I was yelling and screaming and crying for her to let go of me. All the security came up and told her to let me go, and she didn't. All of my Kandi flew out of my bad :( Cuff's and Epic in all :( Anywho Chachee was talking to some black guy that worked there while this was all going on and apparently the guy thought i was hott so he made the black bitch let me go, and some other black lady told me to run in the gate. So I did. I was running so fucking fast, I was histerically crying balling tears -__- I felt like a little bitch, I never cry. I was like aching and so tired I just wanted to go home. Tiahna comforted me and Chachee is honestly the best son ever, he was hugging me and just being such a sweetie -____- I LOVE YOU CHACHEE. Anywho we got in as I poped right then. Chachee did his own thing I was with Tiahna for like 30 minutes then I dipped out. I have never danced so good or so long or hard in my life like i did that night. People were comming up to me taking pictures and wanting to meet me. I was on such a sick level. Some mexican was like your an amazing dancer and put 2 red Louis Vuttions in my mouth. I ate them. Clean ass double drop. I was mobbing around chilling doing my thing then This girl i was with for a few minutes gave me a Pokeball so I ate it :) Then I was really fucked up. I could barely see straight and it didnt help that I had my color contacts that arent even percription... Which i need because I can't see worth a shit. Anywho, I saw my rave parents Rhythm and Infinity. They were both so worried about me and made me come with them to the main stage. When we got there I saw everyone from Taft. I was like whoa that's a trip. I t was cool to hang out with the people from school since I usually never do. I hung out with Leiel, omg I looove him so fucking much, he was rolling fucking balllzzzozzs! He did all this ridiculous shit that made me trip even harder tan I have ever tripped before in my life. Oh my, so i was inspired.. i ate another pill :) Then after that I was with Omid for the rest of the night. He made my night so amazing, we were dancing and just talking about shit, he's way chill. Can't wait for Tuckers class so we can reminice. ARMIN WAS SO FUCKING AMAZING. Now i know why Leiel is like in love with him. his set was so magical and beautiful and words can't even discribe how poetic his set was! After the rave I went to the car and T and Myko were there. We waited for Chachee. and dropped them off. Went to Dimas @ 6:30 and crashed there, everyone was asleep and we just walked in the house. It was the funniest shit ever. We left @ 8. No one was awake. Overall an amazing halloween :)

Fryday Oct. 30th..

went to Redondo with Alfred and Alex. We met up with the boys and then got some Beeeerrrr :)
Headed to Ottos party. It was pretty chill. Kickin it with all the homies all fucked up making out with everyone, lol. It was a nice chill night. Until I got my ass yelled at by shamomo and jesus -__________________-
yeah i was fucked out of my head, bard out and x-fayded and fucking they killed my shit. good thing i got more bars after they went off on me so my night wasnt completely ruined.
I met this guy named Edward, he's really chill and sweet.
After the party me, Alfred, and Alex went to he and bozo's pad and blazed a bit anfd it was really cool, to just chill and relax from all the bullshit that had went down.
I spend like 50 dollars on drugs hat night.
yak, i had too much fun :)

Stoneology 101:

So today in Play Production my favorite little munchkin Karen<3 showed me a picture of her piece and I said, '' Omg that's so cute, I didn't know you smoked, i LOVE you :D''. Then some little black fag boy who I have no idea what his name is BUD's into the conversation saying to me; ''Wtf, you don't smoke'' with such attitude, like he was offended by something that I had said or something. I was really turned off by that. I was trying to explain to him that he has no idea who I am and that if he thinks that smoking to look cool is the way to go, and showing off by sharing ''how many blunts you can smoke in one day'' for some reason makes you cool, that it doesn't. It only makes you look like a dickass. And no one likes a dickass.
So I just thought that I would let all you know the definition of a REAL weed smoker, from my perspective.

A TRUE POTHEAD...
Love's weed because of the fact that it's weed.
Doesn't smoke to get high, but rather smokes because they enjoy the feeling of being 1 with the herb.
Doesn't brag about how much they can smoke, and try to out smoke a fellow pot-head.
Puts weed before any other substance.
Can get high off weed and be completely content with the way they are.
DOESN'T JERK, AND THINK THEY ARE COOL :P

That's all I can think of for now.
But seriously, don't smoke weed and think you are cool.
Because it's not about being cool, I mean that's completely going gains the herb.
And is setting a bad example for future stoners.

:)

Dieting

NOW! Restarting my Food Journal ASAP. I'm getting WAY too fat :(

This feeling.

I haven't felt it in a very long time. I don't know why I'm feeling it all of a sudden now. I thought things were going well. i guess not. It feels like a tank truck just landed on my heart from falling at 7,000 miles an hour. It just sucks. Worst part is that I don't even know where this feeling comes from. It's like a an itch that you just can never seem to scratch, then it goes away and you think your okay until a week later it comes back and your like wtf, why am i itching, i need to stop itching, but it doesn't go away. I don't know if that was a very good analogy, but i tried. I guess it's just another one of those deep emotions that you can never just explain. It doesn't have a word that you can look up in the dictionary and define like: Sad, Hurt, or Uneasy. It's just one of those feelings that only your heart can explain. Unfortunately hearts can't speak.

Homecoming...

was really fun, suprisingly. I made my adios and T and I shwaped before the game. Straight tippin' on fo fo's. Then we waited in a long ass line to get into the game. Finally we get in and see some friends that had graduated last year. And we meet up with our group. We had lots of fun, standing around taking millions of pictures. Then after the group went to the parking lot and pimped for a bit, finished the adios and was on a straight lean. Then we headed over to Sam Natt's for our first nigga party! I felt like i was on a B.E.T latenight special. Shit was TOO hilarious. We hung out with Tre and Shawn and some other guy I forgot his name. Got super X-fayded, and talked shit the whole time :P
Overall a good night.

facebook

is officially my new addiction...
haha omg why is life so ggoood, hahahha


51 post figueroa!

maybe..

i should do a shoot like this...

Jerry's birthday weekend

WAS EPIC.

Well, not epic.. but it was mosdef really fun!
Basically on Friday T and I headed to Northside after school and met up with Jrey, Jeremy, jesus<3, and Hassan.
Knowing me, I baked Jrey a fat ass weed cookie and made my famous adios. That shit got us on the level right quick.
later on that night we ended up going to imperial and picked up some forties and what not. And headed to a party i think. honestly i can't really say what happened this night. either it was too X-Rated ;) or i blacked out.. which i did for like 2 hours haha.
So now, Saturday night there was a costume party. and i was a ''dominatrix'' turned girl that just got fucked and is nw wearing her bf's shit, and tiahna was a army girl, lol. This was a very good night, started off with some forties, ended up with some noz and bars.. as usual. saw alot of old faces and kindles alot of good 'ol memories. THEN.. it al happened, my baby almost got down with some fools because of me, then i almost got down with this nasty ass beaner bitch. but it was all good. we were mobbin deep. hah, overall a good weekend.

:P

Andre Nickatina @ the Key Club

Oh My Moses! That was honestly the most amazing night in my whole entire life. All of my dreams have come true<3
Ok so it goes a lil' something like this.Tiahna and I get there @ like 6 to come up on our tickets at the door or whatever, they were sold out completely. Then we met this guy that was with Andres management and a proformer for the night and he came up on two tickets for us face value. SWEET. Doors opened @ 8. There were like 7 opening acts that went up, and they all sucked balls. The club opened @ 8pm and Andre didn't even hit the stage until 12oclock @ night! WHAT A G! Damn like you don't even know. When he came out on stage I didn't even know what to expect. My voice is all gone, and my legs hurt from jumping my arms hurt from reaching. As soon as he came on everyone lit up their blunts that they were saving for that fool. Omg as soon as I hit my blunt I looked up and I saw this nigga DreDogg and I cried cause no one even understands how much I love this fool. My goodness I was Xfayded & Rollin. Randomly throughout the show he'd say, ''all you mothafukkas, when i say mac.. ya'll say dre! MAC__dre MAC__dre'' The he would be like ''i want you all to say this shit right now, C. O. C. A. I. N. E'' TUH! Right at that moment I knew there was a reason I stay high drink and do drugs. It's niggas like DreDogg and Mac Dre that influence you on such a level that you don't even realize self-conciously. I had the BEST time of my life. Chillin' with the fols, everyone jammin' out to andre. Shit was way too sick :P

I LOVE NIGGAS!

October 1st, 2009.

What a great way to start the month :P
Freaking, IAK every day after this day is going to be too freaking bomb.
Let the mayhem begin...
BTW, i love Jesus!

Andre Nickatina this Friday.

I can't wait for this moment!

Tunchi,

is pretty much the most amazing person i have ever gotten to know.
you don't even understand how hard i am trippin off how amazingly perfect this nigga is. WORD UP. We can talk for hours and hours and hours and have the most stoopidest conversations about tacos and what not and i'll still have an amazing time. i don't know i trip out sometimes. i don't usually get like this all extra 'jhfghsdugygf' and what not. He knows wassup. My papi Tunchi, LOL.

:P

9. 25. o9 Fashion Show.

Well, for starters this was really fun. Fucking the people there wern't even on the level on some real shit haha. But the party they had was UNBELIEVIBLY WACK! But the show was very good. The performers they had were really good. Great dancers omg, fucking AMAZING. Tell me why I saw ZION I, god he's too damn dope, like wtf. After me, tiahna, kyle and ian went to chipotle.. kyle convinced me not to eat cows anymore, Lol. Taught Kyle and Ian how to shuffle and do the mash potato haha. then went to the top of topanga canyon :P and just posted. overall a good night.

Munchies much?

I came up with the most amazing muchie food ever!
Mrs. Fields Chocolate Chip Cookie and Vanilla Ice Cream sandwiches with Chocolate Nutella Shit.
Uhm, Honestly I haven't had something that good in a cool ass minute. Idk if it was because i was high or that shit really did make my taste buds rage, but that shit was toooo bomb :P

Humm...

I don't know, I feel like something is missing in my life right now. Or like I need to fufill a duty. Something is off. I've been feeling it for some time now. But it never really completely dawned on me until today when I was on my way home from school. I need something, Or i'm missing something. Humm, I need to figure this out.

Feeling...

Kinda bad right now. I hate it when I hurt people feeling and what not :(
Just know that you really do mean alot to me. its just thats not what i want. i tried to tell you time and time again, but i guess you didn't want to listen. I take alot of the blame for not making things more clear. I love and care about you oodles. you know that. it's just.. i don't even know what it is. one day you'll understand. and hopefully you won't hate me.

she love me

Mary♥Jane

Just one of those nights...

were ya feel like a complete goofball :P

Herbal Blessinggg

Just woke up and wondered why my room STILL sells like weed from last night. As I get ready to walk out the door I put on my leather jacket and put my hand in my pocket, there's a lil sac :D Now I wonder how that got there... <3love you Momo.

9:19/20.09

Haha, TOday was too damn funny. Or tonight I should say.

This nigga kYLE is a damn foool, I sware.

Hahah. Fucking Tiahna and I get to Sebs and fcuking leina is passed out on the kitchen floor brianna is passed out on the bathroom floor. Haha, Kyle is running around rapping shit. Cory is drunk out side saying he wants to o home, derek is fucked up haha, dano is fucking talking up a storm and shamomo is leaning to the side all cross fayded. HAhaha, I love it! Damn beer and E&j and some weed, Just what i needed this weekend. I had a lotta fun like honeslty shit os too damn funny @ sebs. I'm still on the level.

fresh faces:

sounds like a good idea, right?

well, tiahna and i went to the chipotle and the topanga mall with etai and brandon.

that was really fun we clowned on them for matching and went in the halloween store and h & m. mucho fun. then we went to alfred house and he bothered us, and his friend cristina came over. *yak. then picked up lennon, malina, jess and blake and went to the caves and blazed super sketch. malina and i were scared as shit, jess too. but it was fun. we droppped them all off and ended up heading back to where lennon was and hung with his older homies, good shit. lol

over all a good night. got a slurpee and high :D

Straight Crushin'...

Like a Mothafukka. Chacha, take a catnap.. Monies a Fag!

Feeling...

Creative! Super Stoked for the 2010 Fashion show!

Tiahna and I were planning on doing Germany together... but we had different ideas for what we wanted to do so... things didn't work out.

But I have such AMAZING ideas for my line, Whew! I'm excited!

Fresh Days!

Was Way Super Fun!

Everyone was all happy, and were dancing and feeling the love.

As soon as I got to the pa

rk all I could do was smile because ther

e were such amazing vibes and bubbles everywhere. LOL. The Dj's were pretty good especially D:FUSE last set, whoa. Nigga was peaking lol. Anyways Tiahna and I had a phatyy Shuffle session and when we were finished we tripped out line none other.. it was way too intense for us to handle. There should be more Rave

s like this. Only they should last into the nighttime. Fun Fun FUN!

September 11th...

Should i say Rest In Peace?

in for the kill.

xoxo<3

sen'10r year.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh :D
This year is going to be so good. I can already tell !
I have such bomb classes and my teachers are chill. I didn't have to go through the hassle of changing my schedule or any of that. I just know that this is going to be my turn around year. I should be getting a job soon, and I'll be doing even better after that. God I am just so stoked to have a good time this year. Woohoo, Straight up RUN shit :D

September 7th, 2009

Ok so I'm ready to talk about this. Three days ago was my grandmas' [rip] 58th birthday.
Just thinking about it make me really sad because I am so used to making her presents and jumping in her bed on the morning of her birthday, and for the 2nd year in my whole life I wasn't able to do that. I feel even more worse because my dad is in jail and I know he feels really sad as well because he loved grandma so much, he's one of the hardest men I know, but when it comes to his mom he's such a softy. I feel like now that my grandma has passed I have to look out for him. She always told me to look after him. It's funny because even though I am such a goof, in some aspects I'm more mature then my daddy. I feel like I haven't been there for him like I know my grandma would have wanted me to. I mean I live all the way in the valley, and I have been living here for 7 months now and I have spoken to him about 7 times. Wtf? I've got some shit to work out. Anyways, I just wanted take some time out for the only person that I know I will love in my heart forever. To the only person that has never hurt me, or done anything wrong. The woman that wanted me and loved me when no one else did, and never gave upon me. I love you with my whole heart. Forever and Always. I'll make you proud ShanyShaneShane<3 Teheh.

Rhonda Elisa Howard-Evans
9.7.55- 1.26.08

Summer 2009

I must say that these have been 2 of the most exciting months I have had in a long time. Honestly me moving to the Valley turned out to work for the better. I ended up with 2 amazing friends that I know will be in my life for a long time Tiahna and Alfred, and plenty more that I know are true friends. I don't even know where to start. Well Summer started off with a BANG! E.D.C day 2 was amazing! Had so much fun, so many of Me and Tiahnas' inside jokes are from that night. From Summer flings, they may have not lasted but they were fun. 4th of July at 2nd street brought back so many memories. I had a blast with all my friends. Sleepovers a Nicks house with Neko and Tiahna and Alfred and whoever else was there. Being Drunk for no reason. Crying over boys and trying to jump off cliffs. Trips to Stoney point, and over the Train Tunnel. Nights in Westlake with Tiahna and her chill ass homies. Random nights at Dimas with Dom. Oh my those are the funniest, soo many inside jokes from Dom man I sware. ''Ayyy waddup tho'' ''Nigga you cuT'' ''Awwe nigga yu shOwt'' Haha. But some of my favorites are with my brother Jeremy and Jerry and Tiahna. My most favorite people together blowed and laughing at everything, Thizz sessions. The best :) I got close to a lot of sweet people. Made friends with a lot of new people that I plan to keep in my life. I lived at Tiahnas house more than I lived at mine. Her house after raves, are always the most hilarious days of them all. Cracked out and shit. Days/nights with Alfred and Cliff. Missions to random places. Tiahna and Alfred fighting haha. Tiahna fucking with me when I'm fucked up. Kicking it with the homeboys, not given a fuck. Missing Curfew, Sneaking in, and No getting caught. Hanging out with Shamomo, God I love that kid, toooo funny<3 So many things I wish I could say, but I know i forgot due to circumstance ;) Overall I think I did a good job of making my last summer as a high school student a good and memorable one. I've learned plenty of life lessons and had a good time while learning them. Even though I had alot of bullshit to happen to me this summer, it only made me stronger and more aware of what goes around around me, so it all worked out. I know who I can trust, and what friends will be there for me. I'm just glad that I got a chance to have fun with all of my friends. It was a great summer, and a wonderful way to start Senior year :D

9.o5.o9

I was supposed to be at The Lost City Of Atlantis.

But to make up for it Tiahna and I ended up chillin' in the neck of my woods aka Redondo.

Went to Jeremys pad, where he and Jerry were already fucked up off like 10 bars, lil niggas. Freaking Me, T, Jerem, Jerry, Jesus, Joey, and Bay Rey were all just kicking it at his pad for an hour or so.

Then Tiahna and I shot over to dimas to hang out with nigga Dom and Dmirty.

Smoked some blunts, got some brew. The Tiahna and Dima picked up Jon. We were all kickin it.

Then We all dipped and T and I picked up Jerry, Jesus, Joey, and Bay Rey. We were all so drunk and They were all bar'd out, and I was thizzin. All I know was that night was funny as fuckkkkkk.

Jerry and I were actin' a foo. This nigga tried to hustle this one bitch at the party to let 7 heads in for 4 dollars lmfao. Fucking I was walking around with 3 forty's and a bottle of Smirnoff like a was the fucking liquor store and shit. Then the Po's came and we had to dip. We all walked to the car and fucking everyone kept telling Jerry and I to stfu cause they thought we were arguing all night, but I had to explain to them that all it was, was '' A loud confersation ''. Jerry kept blacking out and shit. Then we dropped the boys off at a Wienershnitzel on Torrance and Anza.

Overall a Goodnight.

9.o4.o9

Had fun, my step dad Vel shot me a couple of bills and he took me shopping.

Got some cute stuff :)

Then Later on that night, Tiahna packed me up and we headed over to Sebs'.

Played Beerpong, (which I SUCK HARD at) with Shamomo, Derek, Kyle, Seb, Wesley, Robbie, and Cory. Haha, overall a good night. Even though I was supposed to be home at 12, which was later extended to 1, which I somehow ended up home at 3:20a.m. Good thing my mom was dead alseep :)

Super stoked

Can't get it out my head that i'ma be starting my life with the 2 people I love the most :)
All I need is a J O B, I already know I can get that though.. So i'm not trippin.

Today

I realized everything will be ok :)

No letting go. . .

No holding back.