New Years Resolution.

And you can quote me.

This new year I really want to follow through on what I want to change about myself and lifestyle.
I feel like this new year I can really accomplish EVERYTHING i say I want to, and i'm going to take full advantage with that.
So here goes.

1. Loose weight and keep it that way.
I want to at least be at 110, 13lb. drop.
If I'm lucky I'll work on the 100 N One.
I wanna eat healthier and cut out alot of carbs and pork. I know I'm never going to be vegitarian or vegan cause that's not my style, but I'm going to cut out alot of meat that I eat. Mainly Fish and Chicken is what i'll be consuming. I want to work out more, @ least and hour a day.

2. Figure out what it is I want to do with my life.
Start looking into careers in depth that have to do with fashion and music more.
Looking @ schools I want to possibly attend and what i'll need to do to get there.

3. GET A DAMN JOB.

4. Get completely clean.
I know I have been since i've been w/ nick, but I still have alot of work to undergo.
I just want to be able to be around it and be able to resist like it's nothing.

5. Get deeper involved more in my religion.
Stay to pray more, and less sin.

6. READ MORE BOOKS.

7. GET CLOSER TO NICK.

MOM = lurk!

This woman put like some shit on here where u can read everything i write, like wtf, ew that's gross!
i can't wait til i get the new charger to my computer hah, i hate living here i have absolutly NO privacy.

No room.
No phone.
No NOTHING.
I'm almost 18 years old.
If this continues, idk what i'm going to do.

-___________________________-

Monday

Movie Night w/ papichullllloo.
Love this fool I sware.
Yet another day I got closer to my babe.
All is well, I really can't complain.

12.25.09

Yippi-Cky-Yay.
My oh my christmas day was swell. Chilled w/ the fam, pretty bored but all was well.
My baby came over and we chilled at the pad for an hour then mark me us up on the orange line to goto the movies. The boys were really hungary so we where trying to find places to eat that where open, Maggianos= closed, P F Changs= closed, so we ended up going to T.G.I Fridays. Mark ended up eating my food lol. The we mobbed back to the amc and watched Up In The Air, it ended up being a really good movie. Mark left the theater early for BP w/ his Flip cousins. Which ended up giving me and Nicholas a really good chance to bond, and get closer to eachother. All in all, the best christmas i've ever had. Yeh, it's official... finally <3

A week before, AMC w/ Mark & Nicholas.

Fefe Dobson

Comeback Season or what? It's about time! This hoe is my idol, I love her.

ho ho ho!

Happy Holidays <3

This is what you do to me.

Can't you see, i'm dying inside? What do I do? I'm too afraid to let go.
Please, stop.

2009 Survey.

In 2009...

Have you had a girlfriend or boyfriend?
YES.

Have you had your birthday?
YES, It sucked.

Been to church?
YUP.

Cried yet?
OH YEAH.

Had someone close to you pass away?
Too Many

Pulled an all nighter?
So Many.

Drank starbucks?
For a while, almost everyday.

Gone shopping?
Oh yeah.

Gone to the movies?
Mmhum,

Been to the beach?
My home <3

Bought something for over 100 dollars?
Yep.

Met someone new?
Been out of your home state?
Gone snowboarding/sking?
In The Past Month...

Kissed someone?
Plenty.

Slept in a friend's bed?
Yahh.

Snuck someone over?
;)

Snuck out of your own house?
Kinda.

Been in a bar?
Yee.

Lied?
Mmhum.

Gotten a car?
kinda.

Gone over your cell phone minutes?
-____-
Been called a whore?
What's New? haha

Drove somewhere?
Mmhum.

Done something you regret?
-_____-

Gotten caught...?
For lot's of things.

Last...

Thing you bought?
Uhhhhh, Chocolate Malted Crunch Ice Cream from Rite Aid.

Person to call you?
Nicholas.

Last time you took a bubble bath?
Damn it's been a while since I had one of dem.

When was the last time you felt stupid?
Everyday haha.

When was the last time you walked/ran over a mile?
Ohhhhh -__-

Who was the last person who saw you cry?
No one.

Who was the last person who made you cry?
Shameen.

Who was the last person you watched a movie with?
Nicholas.

Who was the last person you danced with?
Floaty Crew.

Who did u last yell at?
Jaz?

Who last told you they loved you?
My nicholas <3




This 2009 Survey Sucks.
I need to find a new one!

Slowly Drifting.

No matter how hard you try, sometimes you just can't get it back.
It kinda sucks, but I mean maybe things will change in the new year.
And if not, then it's supposed to happen for a reason.

Nick

Is sick. He got dat Kyle Pak -______-

Party in the back of a Tattoo Shop?

Say WHAT? Yes, Friday night was indeed fun. After school, chilled with Mark, Dom, Nick<3, and T at Starbucks for a bit. Alfred Met us up then we departed. Headed to Alfreds with T and I concocted my marvelous Adios mix which now goes by the name of MoJo :) Went to tiahnas house, got ready. Then plans changed so we watched a coupe of movies picked up Dib then headed to Van Nuys for this underground Rave. Met some really sweet people. I was a lil drunk off the Adios but fortunatley that's all I did that night :) Danced the whole time we were there. Good Time.

Almost better than $EX!

... i just came :D

The General...

I'm sorry for all the wrong i've done, and all the pain i've caused. you know my intentions if no one else does. you've always excepted me for who i was and what you know i could become when everyone else doubted me, when everyone else doubted you for having so much faith in me. i constantly let you down, and you constantly lifted me up. i know i don't deserve to have you as a friend, but i can't go on without you. you've been there for me through my roughest times. you've seen me at my lowest. i need you to be there with me, in my life. you know this. you know you want to. we're both such stubborn individuals but you don't have to deny it. Your my true best friend forever. No matter what we've been through. You'll always be my number one, even if you don't believe it.

'' Up to my room, for cigarettes and cartoons ''

I love you Momo!

Chicks to Dicks.

Damn Baby, you switched your swagger up!

You Showt.

So I decided to cut my hair. i'm really happy with the out come :) Looky!

___Before,

___And,

___After.

Another Night Out,

More reason for me to fall deeper in love. Whirl-wind, no turning back now. I'm in it to win it. Win his heart, and keep that title.
How did this come to be? Why did I have to wait for so long? I'm glad it's happening.

Kiss In The Rain...

I've never done that 'til tonight <3.
I love you babe.

Dear Mama,

I know your a lurk and you'll most likely read this one day.. or not. But I just need to get some things off my chest. First let me say that I do love you. I never meant to disappoint you nor upset you. All I ever wanted was for you to be proud of me. When I was younger living with my grandma I would always speak so well of you, and she never understood why. She was always the one buying me the nicest clothes and feeding me well. Making sure I had the newest toys and what not, even if she did some shady things just so I could have it, she made sure I had the best with a quickness. You on the other hand could barely call me. As a kid I never understood what I did wrong, why you didn't really want me in your life. Was it because of my grandma? My dad? I could never really open up to you, never tell you how I really felt, I feel like we have ever vibed on that level. When I woke up to my grandma dead in the room across from mine and I called you I remember the sound of your voice, you didn't really care. And when they played the video of her and I at the funeral the only thing you could say was ''is that my ring?''. Really now? I'm not going to sit here and put on this front like i'm so amazing and i've never done anything wrong or against your will, but come on now i've never done anything so wrong for you to say that your happy that my grandmother died! REALLY? I lost all respect for you after that day,, I can never let that go. That hit me so hard, do you have any idea how much i loved that woman, she raised me, gave me everything she had, something you would never know anything about. Oh wait, you do. Jazmine. See mom, I love her too and Vel, but I honestly feel like the outcast of the ''family'' or should I say household. You may not see it because she's your ''little sweet angel'' but she is a complete biatch to me. At times the way she treats me and my personal belongings makes me want to cry. Why is she so mean to me, all I ever do to your daughter is try to be nice to her and be a good big sister, but thats never enough. Never enough for the both of you. You treat me as if i'm a roommate. I mean I know me living here is a hassle for you and the space isn't much to work with but you could accommodate me more. Jaz is always complaining about me using her closet for my clothes and you let her. Why? I have nothing but what i came here with, I had to leave so much stuff and it's like why should I have to leave everything in the garage? It's unfair. And you wonder why I want to get out of your house so badly. You just don't understand what I go through living here. The vibes I get form you all at times just drives me crazy. Why do you think I always like to be out? Because I want to be around people that actually care. I guess i've said what I had to say. Hope this doesn't offend you in anyway. But, it's just how I feel. I'm out.

Random

sick day -________-
Woke up @ 4 this morning to incredibly uncomfortable abdomen pains. Shortly after that I yaked. Went back to sleep and right before I took a shower after I yaked once more. What that all about? I never throw up. And so I was like maybe i'll be better i'll just goto school... bad idea. I had a massive case of fatigue and erratic body aches. So 5th period I went home. Tried to make some hot tea, almost passed out while in the making so I just dozed off. Woke up a few hours ago, finally drunk my tea and ate a few grapes. I'm feeling a little better, I just wonder what was wrong with me. My body never acted like this before. I wonder why?

Just A Thought.

Things have been going very well lately. I honestly cannot complain. I haven't been this content with life in.. well.. ever. I've been so happy, and enthusiastic to do things. Like I just got a phat whiff of happiness. Things are really starting to go my way. Really excited for new years, I can just feel it, so much is in store for me. My turning point.

Kiana Hernandez.

The best part of my mothers side of the family (other than her mother). I love my older cousin so mucho grande. She is beautiful, talented, and extremely intelligent. She's one person I can definitely has brain, beauty, and a booty :) Just wanted to pay a lil tribute for the one girl I know that will be in my life forever and won't bother me :)
I love you Ki<3

Then..


And Now...






<3loveyou.

wtf?

seriously..

made my day...

someone told me that i was prettier than Chanel Iman!
I know that's not true, but it was forsure a confidence boost :)
got an amazing letter from my boo.
had a good talk with mark and julia on the floor in the boutique :)
life is good, all for the better!