Dear Mama,

I know your a lurk and you'll most likely read this one day.. or not. But I just need to get some things off my chest. First let me say that I do love you. I never meant to disappoint you nor upset you. All I ever wanted was for you to be proud of me. When I was younger living with my grandma I would always speak so well of you, and she never understood why. She was always the one buying me the nicest clothes and feeding me well. Making sure I had the newest toys and what not, even if she did some shady things just so I could have it, she made sure I had the best with a quickness. You on the other hand could barely call me. As a kid I never understood what I did wrong, why you didn't really want me in your life. Was it because of my grandma? My dad? I could never really open up to you, never tell you how I really felt, I feel like we have ever vibed on that level. When I woke up to my grandma dead in the room across from mine and I called you I remember the sound of your voice, you didn't really care. And when they played the video of her and I at the funeral the only thing you could say was ''is that my ring?''. Really now? I'm not going to sit here and put on this front like i'm so amazing and i've never done anything wrong or against your will, but come on now i've never done anything so wrong for you to say that your happy that my grandmother died! REALLY? I lost all respect for you after that day,, I can never let that go. That hit me so hard, do you have any idea how much i loved that woman, she raised me, gave me everything she had, something you would never know anything about. Oh wait, you do. Jazmine. See mom, I love her too and Vel, but I honestly feel like the outcast of the ''family'' or should I say household. You may not see it because she's your ''little sweet angel'' but she is a complete biatch to me. At times the way she treats me and my personal belongings makes me want to cry. Why is she so mean to me, all I ever do to your daughter is try to be nice to her and be a good big sister, but thats never enough. Never enough for the both of you. You treat me as if i'm a roommate. I mean I know me living here is a hassle for you and the space isn't much to work with but you could accommodate me more. Jaz is always complaining about me using her closet for my clothes and you let her. Why? I have nothing but what i came here with, I had to leave so much stuff and it's like why should I have to leave everything in the garage? It's unfair. And you wonder why I want to get out of your house so badly. You just don't understand what I go through living here. The vibes I get form you all at times just drives me crazy. Why do you think I always like to be out? Because I want to be around people that actually care. I guess i've said what I had to say. Hope this doesn't offend you in anyway. But, it's just how I feel. I'm out.