Just realized

I lost the love of my life... It;s not what you think. Nothing you would have expected. I know, i know. This doesn't make any sense. But it's how I feel. I can't believe he is really gone. I hope not forever. I know he is happy. I guess I have to move on FOR REALS now. I kept ruining all my time with him. Now he's happy.. without me. I never thought this day would come. I am so lost. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost, and confused and hurt, and alone. I hate everything right now. I keep trying to make the best out of the situation, but all I want to do is cry. Cry cry cry, forever until i have him back. Until I can call him mine again. No one can ever take his place. No one can ever compare to him and his love. I know I've put people before him in the past, and I've done some fucked up shit to him, just like he's done to me. But we would always over come the bullshit. And now, I don't know if we will have another chance to be with each other. We've been by each others sides through our hardest times. And he's grown to become such a wonderful man, i just wish he could realize how much i love him, and how proud of him I am. God, words can't even explain the pain i feel inside because i know i probably will never have another chance with him. I'm sorry.

i love you. never have i ever meant those words so truthfully then to you.
MC<3