.!Forever Foolish

I am so sick and tired of allowing people to make me look like a fool.
I can't keep being there for people who could care less about my feelings.
I can't keep trying to make things work out when I should already know that shits NOT going to go in my good favor.
I can't keep pushing away the people that I know for a fact love me, for people that I WANT to love me, but know NEVER fully will.
I just can't keep worrying about everyone else, and everyone elses' bullshit that they have going on. I have too much going on with me.

I don't want to sound all emo and shit, but I mean that's fucked up what people do to me.
I'm a nice person, I mean at least I think I am.
I may say a few things, but I never mean any of it.
I don't deserve to constantly feel this way. I mean I really don't, it's unhealthy.

I give my heart out to so many people and they demolish it. Leave NOTHING left for me to have. Nothing left for me to love myslef, and be able to be there for myself.
I guess i can't constantly blame them. I have to blame myself for being such an iddiot to GIVE my heart out.

Is it seriously THAT hard to listen to someone, to be there for someone, to care about someone?
I don't think it is, I do it all the time, it's pretty FUCKING easy if you ask me.

Maybe I'm too needy. I mean I don't have my grandma anymore, my dad for about 3-4 years, my aunt for another year, my mom's just there, the rest of my family really doesn't understand me... my friends are weird at times, the guy i am with or talking to i guess has his own thing going on i guess. I really have no one here for me and it's not making me sad, it's pissing me the FUCK off.



im over it.