Lately

I've been having a lot going through my head. Things just were not making any sense to me, I was getting irritated and discouraged at the worst times. I couldn't really pinpoint where exactly all these negative emotions were coming from, or how I could stop them but they seem to be under control now. I really want to get to the source of my.. I guess I could call it ''depression'' states. But how do I do that? I don't know. I've been on an emotional roller coaster these past few months and even when I seem emotionally stable i'll try to think of reasons why this could be happening to me and it'll cause me to get upset, not because i'm sad but because I can't realize WHY! Right now so much shit is going on and I can barely take it all in. Between school, work, having a social life, dealing with my future, I feel like I have so much on my plate right now and my eyes are bigger than my mouth. I feel like I can't even really focus on what's important right now. Often times I wonder if I am starting to go crazy. Well I mean i'm already crazy but I think what little piece of sanity left is starting to fade away. I'm a complete different person, and it's all happening so all of a sudden. Only thing is I like it. Right now my life has it's Pro's and Con's. And I think I just figured out why everything seems to be too much for me. Now-a-days I am starting to not care what people think of me and my actions, I'm being more open with people about my life, sexuality, and beliefs, I feel like I am a better person now, then I have ever been. But with all this great self-discovery and what not there always has to be a balance of negative that I guess I have to overcome that will make my self-discoveries more valuable. Wow, I'm so glad i decided to blog, this really is making me appreciate my stumbling blocks. Hopefully I can be strong enough about this and overcome these whifs of heartache.